she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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