I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Two words: blizzard sex
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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