I just made out with a guy for $7.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I hope mine doesn't look like that
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
