One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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