i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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