Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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