grandma shit on top of the toilet
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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