HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
