i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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