A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
No subtext here. People are naked.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
