i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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