false alarm. still invincible.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
