My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
