Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Randomize
