It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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