he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Randomize
