Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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