Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Randomize
