so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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