how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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