If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Why are you drunk at the library?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong