guess who came home with a hottie last night
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf