My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
two words: eviction party
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No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
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Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up