i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Randomize
