I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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