after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
not ubering you a puppy
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
