hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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