Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
