so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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