Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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