hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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