We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
