u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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