Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
