Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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