Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
