He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I love having hate sex.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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