i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
