Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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