My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
