If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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