Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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