What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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