absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
she peed on how many people?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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