bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
There was a lot of him and a little penis
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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