SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
