I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
What a dumb baby whore.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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