Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
