I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
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