NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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