I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
