I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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