Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
