I would go down on you faster than GM stock
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
