I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
