I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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