Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I need to stop coming to work sober
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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