Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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