what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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