ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
