Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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