I like my sex mixed with concussions.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
