if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
