I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
