just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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